Dear Calf Muscles-
I hate your stinkin' guts.  You make me vomit.
You are scuuuuum between my toes.
Love,
Alfalfa
....er....
 I mean, Kacee.
(My right calf as been super sore and tight these past few weeks.  So goes the life of a runner though.  I always have some little niggle that is 'hurting' me.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVttF-4MCkE&feature=related