I was reminiscing about these girls and all the great times we had in high school. These confession sessions were some of the best times I've had and really helped me get through the best of times and the worst of times. Heck, it was during one of our confession sessions (in the back of Bronco) that I first admitted to having a big crush on my co-worker, Nate Houle. THEN that same night as we continued with our confession session he texted me for the first time! We also were obsessed with 'fate' back then; so when he texted me for the first time after I had spilled the beans about my big crush on him, the Bronco exploded with girls yelling "IT'S FATE!!" haha :) Guess they were right!
As I've gotten older and learned a lot more about myself, I've realized that 'confession sessions' really do help me figure out my life. Maybe it's just the Psychology Grad in me talking, but expressing all of my secrets, desires, embarrassments, and loves to ears that are respectful, loving, and totally non-judgmental really helps me understand myself and truly what makes me tick.
I have been extremely blessed to have SO many people in my life that I can have 'confession sessions' with. My family, Christa, Katie, Madi, Lacey, Tessa, all of my GSU girls, PV girls, a few good guy friends in high school, and, of course, my husband man. Words do a very meager job at expressing how truly grateful and blessed I am to have so many people surrounding me that I can deeply talk too. Thank you all so much--I love you.
I have spent a lot of time in my own mind lately (lots of miles and a classroom with not too many students yet) and as much as I try to solve the worlds problems on my own, I never truly get a grasp on what all my thoughts are until I actually say them out loud. Try as I might, I cannot figure things out until I talk them out (or, I guess, in this case, type them out). I was thinking about this on my run this morning. I realized that I feel empty and lost without having 'confession sessions.' It is almost embarrassing to admit I am that needy of a person :) I just feel so much more alive when I have meaningful conversations with others. I thrive on them. I always have SO much on my mind that it all gets jumbled together; but when there is someone that is kind and loving enough to listen, I figure it all out.
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| My run this morning |
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| The sunflowers were killing me. So beautiful! |
So, I guess this post is a confession session in and of itself. I confess that I need meaning conversation with others in order to not feel lost or lonely. It keeps me a float. It helps me understand so much more than I could have understood on my on. I realized that I definitely need strong relationships in my life. I am not a lone wolf, as much as I try to be.
I also have realized that not only do I need to have meaningful conversation and relationships with others, I need to with my Heavenly Father. The stubbornness inside of me makes me resist help from others as I try to be the 'cool' lone wolf. But I have realized more and more recently that I NEED my Heavenly Father. I need Him to know my likes, loves, dislikes, and hates. I feel sometimes silly praying about some of the things that I do--why would He care to know how good my dinner was that night? But you know what, He DOES want to know. He wants us to have 'confession sessions' with Him every night. I know He does. And I know that when I do, I am comforted, figure things out, and am just so much happier.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble. I just needed to have a confession session with my blog :) I hope that everyone knows that, although I may need to talk your ear off, I also LOVE and NEED to be on the other end. I love when others feel comfortable enough to have a 'confession session' with me. So, really, if you ever wanna chat, I am here ready and waiting!
I guess since this is a 'confession session' post, I might as well confess a few more things...
- I don't like to shower. More like I getting out of the shower cause I really don't like being wet and the process of getting dry and ready.
- I miss learning. My brain feels like a blob. It's my new goal to learn something new each day.
- I want a baby, reeeal bad.
- I cry a lot. More than I like to admit.
- I listen to piano soloist, mormon tabernacle choir, and instrumental music a LOT more than any other type of music.
- I am real sad I didn't practice the piano more (you were right, Dad)
- I miss being the minority like we were in the ATL. Different cultures are cool, guys.
- If I run my planned 12 miler tomorrow, I will run more miles in a week than I ever have.
- I think Cedar City is really pretty.
Well, folks, ttfn.
Peace & Blessings.
P.S. This is the kind of music I was referring to above. I listened to this one on repeat last semester.
P.S.S. for Labor Day Nate and I drove a few minutes up the canyon and did a run at 9,000ft along the Valley Rim trail and then went to Cedar Breaks. I don't have all of the pictures...but here are a couple from Cedar Breaks. See why Cedar City is pretty? :) (as always, Nate took them)
