life is still real good.

This past week we met with Dr. Buchmann, the other surgeon that is going to do the reconstruction side of Nate's surgery.  (Dr. Hunt will extract the tumor and the surrounding areas & Dr. Buchmann will put everything back together)  We opted to wait till the 20th so he could do the reconstruction and we are glad we did.  Nate & I both really liked him and felt very confident in him.  However, he was pretty much 100% sure that his eye has to go.  He said he has "been burned" a couple times where he didn't take an eye or similar and the cancer spread and killed his patients.  It was really hard to hear for me.  I try to be optimistic...so I was still hoping for a 2-eyed husband post surgery.  But he told us we should just expect the eye to be gone so we aren't disappointed.  It's still hard to wrap my head around, but I would MUCH rather be married to a one-eyed man than a widow...

 #priorities 

Here are a few new things we learned (every time we have a doc appointment new info bleeds out):

- His fibula will not grow back nor will they put a rod in its place.  I guess that you don't really need 2/3rds of your fibula...the doc said that your body will "just adapt"...the human body is amazing. The only hindrance that will come from it is he won't be able to flex (curl under) his big toe.

- He will have a feeding tube through is nose for a minimum of 7 days. They hope to have it out by the time he goes home, but if he every has trouble eating he'll have to get it back in.

-He will have a trach (breathing tube thing that will be inserted in his neck) for most of his hospital stay.  Because most of the air goes through the neck, he won't be able to talk.  So he will have to have a white board to communicate. Nate said he'll just set up a group text haha.

-The doctor told us to expect that something, somewhere along this "long road" (they keeps saying we have a long road ahead and I don't ever like it) to go wrong.  He said complications are just part of the process....humph.

- He might not feel totally recovered from the surgery & treatments for up to a year...Cancer is a B.

We only have a couple more appointments (radiation people & chemo people) till we are done with appointments till his surgery.  I feel like we finally have a pretty good grasp on what to expect but it still doesn't seem real.  I am half looking forward to surgery day (just to get it over with & see what exactly happens) and half dreading it.  When surgery hits things get real...and get real fast.

Life is Still Real Good:

After Nate and I decided to wait until the 20th for surgery, though a little more risky, we promised each other that we would try to 'live up' the last 4 weeks of relatively normal life.  I told Nate that he needed to be a little selfish and do as many things as he could.  

Though he still has to work and I still have to do the laundry, just the perspective of only having 4 more 'normal' weeks left has made me enjoy each day more...

I was out on a run last week, running on a dirt road that shot through a corn field and headed out to the lake, and I just felt happy.  The weather was perfect, the scenery was great, and although cancer was on my mind, I just felt so at peace.  I know we have a "long road" ahead but I know that we will be okay.  Life will be different, but it will still be real good.  As I was running down that "long" dirt road and thinking of our "long road" ahead of us, I knew that there are a lot of real good things waiting for us at the end of the road.  We just have to endure the start.

But before we buckle up and "endure" here are a few things we have done to 'live it up'...

I'm definitely not perfect at it, but I am super grateful that we still can enjoy life admist these crazy times.  It's hard to realize, but no matter what trial is set before you...

life is still real good.

you just have to look & create the goodness.

oh, P.S.,  here is my lame attempt at modeling the SWEET arm warmers that you get in your race bag just for signing up!

#teamdomiNATE