nap time.

Ames has this new habit of taking 3.5 hour naps.

Most of you are probably thinking how amazing it is to have 3.5 hours in the middle of the day to do whatever the heck I want.

And it is... until you run out of things to do.

I am not much of TV watcher (that is, except for the HGTV show, "Fixer Upper"; I dream to be a Johanna Gaines), just finished my book, and just can't muster up the stamina to start a new "something."

You see, I have been a little unsatisfied with life lately...my personal progression life.  I feel like other than taking care of Ames (obviously, a timely and worthwhile cause) & 'keeping house' I don't really have anything else going on.

I mean, I still run, and that is going really well (so here's to one thing progressing). But that's only up to 2 hours a day.  And it can't be done during his nap time.

It's been on my mind a lot lately how I wish I had more hobbies.  How I had more 'talents' to share.  Or at least pursuing the talents I do have.

But the problem is, for some reason I can't hone in on any particular talent...because I am at a loss of what I am really talented at.

Has anyone else ever felt like that?

I feel like I have so much to offer...but I don't know how to offer it.

I think a big part why I feel like this is because I feel like I can't get into anything until we know what we are doing in the future.

Nate is applying for jobs right now and we no idea how or where things will turn out.

Heck, we aren't even 100% sure if the cancer is all cleaned out. He has a scan in 10 days to see (fingers & arms are crossed).

So now, instead of starting projects, pursuing goals, furthering talents, I sit. And ponder. And plan. Which are good things to do.

But,

I'm done with waiting.  I'm so ready to get going with "real" life again.

Yet again, my impatient tendencies are shining through.

For the most part, I feel like I'm doing okay enjoying the time we have to be carefree.  To savor all the family cuddle time we have.  Trying to enjoy not being bound by schedules.

But,

it just gets to me at times...

usually between the hours of 12 - 3:30...

which is right now.

Time for this guy to wake up.